Loadus - people suffering from Excessive Social-media Responsibility (ESR) Syndrome - get offended very easily and their brain take unnecessary pressure for very futile and redundant issues, majorly social in nature. According to Dr. Varinder Singh, a gastro-neurologist at AIIMS, "ESR patients have extraordinary ability to consume tonnes of load and excrete out alphanumeric text on social networking sites. Other symptoms include negative IQ points, e-sychophancy towards certain politicians, calling themselves Armchair philosophers, e-campainers etc."
Analysts believe that this move will also be a major sanitary step towards making India open-defecation free. "Open excretion of idiotic posts by loadus on Twitter cause alot of inconvenience in browsing to the netizens of this country" said Kartik Sharma, a responsible netizen.
A consortium of IITs and NITs has been formed to create a special "toilet" for the loadus where they will answer the nature's call after consumption of garbage collected by the local bodies of their cities. The special toilet, which will be called shitter.com, can handle waste of 5 lakh loadus at a time. But the best feature of shitter.com is its 'Swear-word Prediction Tool' (SPT) which contains over 10,000 swear and curse words in all the 22 languages mentioned in the 8th Schedule of our Constitution. The SPT will suggest swear words according to the content and frequency of the previous 'shits' of the loadu. Currently the database of the SPT is being tested by Virat Kohli and Raghu Ram.
Mr Modi also told that cabinet is finalising an ordinance to create a 3 member statutory body - National Loadu Commission (NLC)- for the people suffering from ESR. "Bharat mein kuch log jarurat se jyada mouse ke saath khelte hain" posted Modi in a facebook group named 'Mad&Sons Square Garden'. According to sources in PMO, the NLC will be chaired by Sh. Sushant Sharma with Arvind Kejriwal and Arnab Goswami as the other 2 members.
